so the winds of change are a blowin’ and man it’s scary. i feel so uneasy, uncomfortable, scared + breathless. why is the unknown so meteorically terrifying? why does the thought of growing out of my comfort zone + doing somethings ive never done before leave me paralyzed? why do i have to make all the decisions? why can’t i tell the difference between my head + my heart?
this amazing + challenging year has been epicly up + down for me. i believe in order to enjoy the purest high of life, that an equal low will without a doubt appear at any given moment. for me i had lots of highs; achievements. dreams. successes. headlining tours. great shows. family support. + love… so inevitably there were the lows; tears. pain. cancellations. surgeries. break ups. heart ache. fights. + mistakes.
i always forget that it turns around.
i always forget that it works out.
i always forget that my feelings wont kill me.
i always forget to trust in my path no matter what.
i honestly just forget everything—-maybe because im human. maybe because im small. maybe because im learning. but maybe i don’t need to know why. i think if i were really in control, i’d mess it all up. i wouldn’t have made it here.. i would have over thought my way out of my hopes + dreams + might be in my pajamas somewhere in philadelphia wishing i could be who i am now.
so here i am again, in transition from something awesome to something awesome… but crawling out of my skin.
what will happen? what will it be like? how will i get through? when does the ache stop? will i ever love again? will i be able to sing better then ever? will i learn to control my breath again? did i do the right thing? would they tell me if i didn’t? will they like me over there? what will happen if we don’t find another one like it? why does it hurt? why am i so lucky? why? when? where? + how?
i can keep asking + stay uncomfortable… or i can let go + just believe everything will be okay. because i will be taken care of, no matter what, i always am. and so are you.
let go,
love
cp
Comments
Your openness is so beautiful, and everything you think and feel right now, you need to, to become the great women you are already becoming. It is always nervy at the top of a profession, especially if you are unique.
You will be loved everywhere you go, and if they don't get you, they don't get love.
U're doin fine honey haha, just follow your black path given in heart n soul n put the right input n u be opk n success.i'm sure n pray for it. K.hehe one more thing, can i get the red jar for jar of heart cover that u hold haha love u, u gonna be find.
Just hang in there, all will be OK!! Have faith, God is with you all the way. Love and God bless, DHS